Freedom

I was considering an interesting resemblance between Doreen and Joan and their relationship with Esther. Obviously the two characters mean something very different to Esther, but there are two moments in which she turns a mental switch and disconnects herself from each of these women that are very intriguing. The first occurs after visiting Lenny’s apartment with Doreen. The second takes place after Joan does not return to Belsize.
Of course, everyone remembers Doreen with the woman who ironed the girls’ clothes, drunk at Esther’s door calling for Elly. What I think is interesting here is that it really seems to be the hotel employee that embarrasses Esther. Not only because Doreen is drunk at Esther’s door, but also the woman seems to think that it is best to have Doreen be with Esther than take her back to her own room. Esther becomes very self-conscious about this, as if this has some implications on how great their friendship is. Furthermore, the persona this woman from down the hall takes on resides in Esther, “I wanted to run after her and tell her I had nothing to do with Doreen, because she looked stern and hardworking and moral as an old-style European immigrant and reminded me of my Austrian grandmother” (The Bell Jar 24). It is almost like Doreen is corrupting an image that Esther has of herself.
I feel like something similar takes place with Joan. Joan leaves Belsize to watch a movie, but she doesn’t return even after the last bus has passed. Dr. Quinn comes to Esther to ask if she knows where Joan would go. Esther’s reaction here is very similar to her reaction to Doreen: “Suddenly I wanted to dissociate myself from Joan completely” (219). Yet again, there is a figure of authority present, and her connection with someone makes her ashamed. I feel here, especially so, Esther sees Joan as standing in the way of her freedom or recovery, particularly because Joan returns after being discharged.
I feel like there are several elements here, similarly at work. Both scenes take place after Esther has a reason to feel exceptionally close with these girls. Doreen and her just went out together, leaving the flock behind to explore the city, and Joan helped her find a doctor. Not only do both of these girls seem to break that bond in some way, but they do it in a way that embarrasses Esther and reveals her self-consciousness. Lastly, as I mentioned, I think Esther really sees the two characters as standing in the way of her liberation. I believe this is why her feelings for them freeze, and why her compassion wears out.